Boundaries: The Inconvenient Space for Feminine Leaders

Working with women coaches, facilitators, and executives it can be difficult for them to put up boundaries. We see the benefits of empathy, of active listening, and of really creating safe space for team members to come together. What more women have trouble with is boundaries in the personal and professional world.

Discover when you feel most productive, what your goals are, and what are your non-negotiables that get in the way of you reaching those dreams and goals. It is so important to either journal it out or you can sign up for The Singularity Storytelling Process to get the prompts that will get you clear on what you can be strict on with your boundaries and what can be a bit more relaxed.

Some clients like to set intentions for the month and then compare them for the year to see how they move forward with them. It’s a form of personal accountability – without that clarity you will not know what to create boundaries around. Once you become clear on that – you will be able to compare and contrast what is in alignment and what is not in regards to your needs, wants, and desires.

What is it that you absolutely need to reach your potential? Do you need quiet alone time undisturbed from colleagues and family? Do you need an assistant that takes direction well? What are the things that are non-negotiable? It could be the color scheme of the photoshoot you are about to do, or it may be the story line in the promotional video you are making for the company, maybe it’s the food you are eating (only vegetarian!).

This is where the emotional muscles come in. Place these boundaries somewhere you have access to that will be top of mind. Try your phone, or sticky notes on your desktop. Write down and memorize those non-negotiables to yourself. Imagine you are taking care of someone you really love – perhaps your child, a partner, or a client whose work you really believe in. Now, take that same energy and direct to yourself on these boundaries.

Feminine leaders tend to have more empathy, more macrovision, and are in-tune with group emotions (not all, but a big majority). Learning to put up emotional walls, boundaries, and energetic boundaries may seem uncomfortable at first, especially if everyone has known you as the always accessible, always helpful, and the most dutiful one. Switching out of that mode may bring with it some growing pains, so standing strong to your goals, why you need the boundaries you do, and allowing them to exist will support you in modeling that within your team as well.